Where do I start? So much to discuss. I am at work right now bored as fuck and figured I’d update the site with a bit of necessary information as I go throughout my day sitting in this god damn cubicle. It’s alright though, no money like easy money. Well I guess it should be safe to start with X-MAS. I fucking hate X-MAS, worst holiday ever. Except for the fact that I somehow came up on a bomb ass iPOD touch, but be careful of the touch, it’s pretty orgasmic.

I don’t even know where to start with this thing. Technology is fucking outta control these days. I feel like futurama with a blunt bigger then my head. This shit right here, this shit called deaf, nigga. “You mean when I hit it I’ll die?”, No nigga the shit called deaf, like you go deaf nigga. lawls. Kat Williams ftw.

Secondly, I would like to make an announcement regarding the ever so loving game that I still play to this day for no apparent reason. For some reason I always feel like I’m trying to re-live the old UO days when I was a youngster but my hope gets shot down everytime I log into hybrid. I miss it like crazy, you have no idea Nothing will ever be the same god dammit, keep comming out with these lame ass leveling games that all have the same thing in common; GAY. Gee A Why. GAY. Why does it seem like people had better ideas back in the day then they do today? Why does it seem like everyone wants to jump on the same bandwagon non-stop and produce the same lame games as before? Why can’t anyone adapt to the real way an MMORPG should be played. I want to kill you, stomp on you, let my horse take a shit on you, and feast on your corpse while you tear your whole house apart IRL. Which leads me to: UOG: Divinity. Now, for those of you who haven’t heard much about it this shard has been around for quiet awhile now. The population never got too great because the shard wasn’t maintained as much as it should be and the staff’s main priority was Hybrid, of course. Now, I am a hybrid player, not much of the pre-t2a but I can throw down it need be. I was still really new to the game when this age of pvp was taking place. Anywho, with that being said the minds of Team RunUO & Team WTFMan.com have joined forces to re-create this amazing feeling. Please take some time to try the shard out and get the community growing. I will be running around from time to time but will not give out my ingame name on Divinty. I’d rather keep it OG :]

In conclusion, Merry X-Mas, Play Divinity, eat shit, & die.
See you on the field :]

P.S. I think it’s time Pudrick suited up and retrieve his char from retirement eh? I think this shard has a lot of fucking potential.

Peace.

These are probably really old, but still funny.


More Here

Sucking balls, the game sucks absolute fucking balls. Read on though

From Wikipedia

“Kane & Lynch: Dead Men is a game developed by IO Interactive for the Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and Windows. It is described as “a cooperative action game depicting a violent and chaotic journey of two men — a flawed mercenary and a medicated psychopath — and their brutal attitude towards right and wrong. Now, they must partner up as a mess of cash makes for hell on Earth.” It has been confirmed that Lionsgate has bought the rights for the movie adaptation.^[1]“

First off, Lionsgate is fucking stupid, stop buying into video game franchises when you can simply appropriate the idea behind it and improve on the fundamental flaws in cheap 3rd person games on the console and PC.

Next up is the issue of Kane & Lynch, here comes the picky bitch aspect of things. We have been playing co-op gaming on the PC in 1st and 3rd person for quite some time, as such Kane & Lynch have to essentially cross the great wall without the help of David Copperfield, given that GoW has accomplished this well in the recent year and Army of Two looks to do the same, Kane & Lynch has stiff competition given a shallow plot and a boatload of advertising money to help pave the way to stardom.

Kane is a member of of an elite underground group performing merc hits around the world (yawn) upon his last job the mission goes to hell and his team dies, he goes on the run and gets captured. Lynch is a schizo pill popping murderer, already it sounds like a match made in heaven. During gameplay Kane is the lead character (Player 1) and the AI or (Player 2) ends up being Lynch, from there it’s typical squad based fighting, by this I mean letes find an existing model of calling the AI or other player to make military style attack patterns to accomplish a goal. Of course lets take this to an urban setting and make common firearms the standard methods of attack, nothing like seeing shotguns, rifles and SMG’s for the 9000th time.

The attack methods are nothing new, jumping behind walls, peaking around, blind firing and pretty much everything else we’re already used to. It’s great that Eidos was paying attention to routes for success in gaming over the past years, Kane & Lynch in the action department wraps up as a continued entertainment to those who loved GoW but got tired, those who enjoyed KillSwitch but wanted to go Next-Gen, those who played Hitman but wanted more or pretty much anything else.

Online play is brain numbing at times, given that in most online games you get some variety, in this title you don’t get that luxury unless you bust your balls until you reach number 1 or 2 in which case you get the piss poor reward of being Kane or Lynch depending on your rating. Otherwise you get stuck as henchman #1-9999999999999 for your gameplay, unless you die in which case during the round you end up as a cop chasing your killer / former allies.

The story itself is amazingly complex, the guys you thought died in your last job aren’t dead, they sprung you from your deathrow bus and assigned a pill popping fucktard as your watchdog, the point of all this? Because even though it looks like they died, they didn’t and now they want their money that got taken from the job. The bonus to Lynch for all this? He gets Kane’s spot in the 7. The rest of the story is simple, Kane goes in to get the cases and make it right, of course in this case one of the cases is gone and by the time you go to tell Lynch, he killed everybody. So it’s a case of stupidity and a pre-determined set of problems from the get go as you try to make things right. On top of this the game goes ahead to introduce strange crime bosses and other figures with few if any actual associations to the story, suddenly a past you didn’t even know about takes you on a wild goose chase to find the case only to end up getting Kane, his family and Lynch burned. What ensues after that is the typical revenge route to make The7 pay for the almost typical betrayal route.

For me the game was average at best, on top of that the aiming system was poor and the actual enjoyability was lacking.

Given that my options are COD4, UT3, Crysis, GoW (PC), TF2 and more, I’d rather play any of those, hell I’d rather play Clive Barkers Jericho and play through endless repeats of the same basic atmospheres with a retarded squad simply because watching them squirm and suffer on the ground would be more rewarding than this garbage.

Kane & Lynch: Dead Men makes my controller hurt because of how bad the game sucks. Eidos, stick to making Deus Ex 3 good, stop churning out shit games.