Have you ever picked up from your dealer and just been blown away by the generosity displayed by the obviously overweight satchel. OH SANTA. YOU BRING JOY AND CHEER AND CHRISTMAS JEER AND THE WAITING TO SEE YOU NEXT YEAR IS SOMETHING, RHYME, SOME - OH THOUGHT I HAD SOMETHING


Went to a Christmas party for work this weekend and i gotta say. There is something about indians i just cannot fucking stand. I mean the whole time i should be enjoying myself, i cant help but remember the 19 times ive been ripped off by Pechanage indian resveration and casino. (YOU COULD REALLY JUST GO WITH PECHANGA CASINO I DOUBT ANY RESERVATIONS ARE BEING HELD FOR ANY IMMEDIATE BLOOD RELATIVES WHO ARE ALREADY BILLIONAIRES IN THEIR FOUR STORY TEE PEE ON SUNSET BLVD LOL FUCK YOU. Ah but anyhow one time i was at Pechanga and i put 20 dollars in a roulette machine…. that was it. No credit, no game on, no HI WELCOME TO PLAY GAME PRESS 2 FOR BETS PRESS 3 TO FORFEIT. Just a blank dead stare. and a unsettling gut feeling that i had not only just been ripped off by a casino, i had been flat out fucking robbed by a casino. Literally. No Trickery, no oddly shuffled odds for a predictable favor to the house. No fucking leaded dice. Just insert money, and please go enjoy our free tomhawk indian face scalp to the face you white devil.


But honestly aside from the opression and blatant racial profiling that occurs at these “CASINOS” ( lol who fucking has ever won at Pechanga? If you have ever seen a dime from pechanga please let me know. ) the party itself wasnt bad. Got to have some free drinks some free dinner and some free 40 dollars stolen by godamn motherfucking pechanga fucking mafia.


So i think the point here is, if you know it isnt going to work out, regardless of effort, regardless of hope, or prayer… if the odds are just really fucking against your favor.. give up.

Honestly why bother; the years of development, the millions of dollars,(thousands of dollars? how much budget are these fucking people given anyway) , the hype. For what? You still couldn’t dethrone the king. No one gives a fuck about the barons and lords and squires, no the fucking man is the King. Why has World of Warcraft just casually brushed aside all competitition? Ill tell you why, fucking you copy paste something too many times and fucking windows explodes. Albeit that is because bill gates is a giant fucking faggot but nevertheless. The clever fucking analogy here is, you have idiot companies spending thousands (millions?) of dollars to copy what world of warcraft has already done. GEE FUCKING WHIZ I WONDER WHY YOUR GAME IS SHIT YOU UNCREATIVE FUCKING USELESS FUCK. Seriously though I have fucking had it with gaming. Back in the golden era of gaming there was small companies making quality original content. I specifically remember a time when “Graphics vs. Gameplay” was a common argument sprouting around the time the Sony Playstation was released. Since the release of that shitty terrible ass system, all these newgen wannabe myspace gamer scrubs have been soaking the video game economy with their Blockbuster paychecks on rehashed textures, recycled engines, NOW WITH PER PLAXEL DIP SHADING, fodder games. Grand Theft Auto 4 , now with direct3d 10.0z85*, *less features. How do you release the sucsessor to your most popular game, and fucking remove features to add more bump shizzing. Cinematic Experience. Dont get me fucking started on that Hideo Kojima piece of shit and his abortion game series i wont waste my energy typing the name of.


In spite of MMO gaming being god awful aids, FPS gaming remains solid. Counterstrike should get a pulitzter prize or a nobel peace prize because it is so l33t. Its funny too because all of these fucking morons ranting and raving about Call of Duty 4 dont even realize they copy pasted counterstrike to make that game, which is why Counterstrike remains king.


See you in Azeroth.

So I got to try the Warhammer beta this past week and the game, for what it is, is actually really entertaining.  I mean they basically ripped off WOW in every aspect and just made it bigger, faster, stronger and better.  More shiny and easier to jump into pvp at an early level.  The thing that sold me is that the max level is 40, and you can get to the end doing zero PVE.  Yeap doing nothing but PVP (world or battlegrounds) actually gives you more experience than doing PVE shit.

The first day I tried to login I was given this funny message:



PLEASE TRY LA, HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS LA.  BUT OKAY GAME I WILL KEEP TRYING.  I WILL TRY WITH ALL MY MIGHT TO PLAY YOUR GAME.

Preordered the game  last night, not sure what server I’ll end up on but if anyone out there is planning on playing lets coordinate a server to get on and own some fags like this was 1997.  Bright Mage’s are pretty own.

Kinda like this

if you are like me (you aren’t) you probably are wondering why everything is so pointless lately. I am convinced the internet died back in 2003 and was sent to hell for obvious reasons and is now suffering eternal punishment in an oblivious state of mediocrity. I mean back in 1996, the internet was like the roped off section of some downtown hollywood club i have never been in. However I have been in the internet in 1996 and let me tell you it was way better than any transvestite fag sucking roped off vip club in shithole hollywood. Point is this, people don’t actually like other people. People only go out to socialize to fill some empty hole of needs and wants driven by selfish egotistical yadda yadda. So honestly now that the internet is fucking crammed with the people I spent the majority of my life avoiding, is fucking depressing.


It isn’t just the myspace and youtube pandemic that upsets me, its all the useless fucking clutter that gets in the way of me, and my fucking soapbox.


In a world of limitless information and instant access to any educational source via google.com, why do i feel dumber than ever.


Possibly because I haven’t achieved the level of zen this woman has:





Andre Nickatina kiiiiiiid. Had I never left the bay area im pretty sure i would have sold cocaine with this nigga right here -





throw some coke on the dash roll a dollar do a line.

The fact that this conversation actually took place on the same planet that i live on is frightening.

Am i the only gamer who realizes the Metal Gear series stopped being good 3 games ago? Hideo Kojima is a hack and anyone who thinks he has “vision” or “talent” or “decent gameplay mechanic creating ability” <–(that is a fucking quote, google it) should think themselves into a knotted rope off the 2nd story of their second mortgaged suburbian meth lab.


If I were Hideo Kojima I would have retired from the video game industry 6 years ago and applied for a job in hollywood to direct B list pulling action movies. One time I sat down to play Metal Gear solid 3 and fell asleep 3 hours into the introduction credits. Im sorry is this a video game or a waste of my time because fuck you and your pretentious view on espionage tactical warfare when does this start getting good gameplay. Go fucking step on a landmine Kojima, but make sure your children walk in front of you because i swear to god if i have to hear one more moron rave about Metal Gear Solid I might just lose my mind and google “Hideo Kojima sucks” or “Hideo Kojima= hack” or “Fuck Hideo Kojima” only to find not one single result because every brainless worthless god forsaken moron on this wretched planet believes you make actual games.

penglol (0:46 AM) :
man all the new releases this year blow
penglol (0:46 AM) :
age of conan shitty
world of warhammer shitty
stargate lol
Pudrick (0:47 AM) :
darkfall
penglol (0:47 AM) :
i said releases
Pudrick (0:47 AM) :
itll happen
penglol (0:47 AM) :
right after UOX
Pudrick (0:48 AM) :
activate your wow account with your x money
penglol (0:48 AM) :
never~
penglol (0:48 AM) :
piece of shit game
Pudrick (0:51 AM) :
what else do u have goin on
penglol (0:51 AM) :
SB!
penglol (0:51 AM) :
rerolled on the backup server cause gooks won the one i was on
Pudrick (0:52 AM) :
reroll youtself over a center divider
penglol (0:52 AM) :
no u
penglol (0:52 AM) :
at 5am in china they show up with 180 people
Pudrick (0:52 AM) :
like 1/4billion~pi the actual population
penglol (0:53 AM) :
its ridiculous
penglol (0:53 AM) :
u cant stop their swarm
Pudrick (0:53 AM) :
hey when sc2 comes out are you going to be able to play with us
penglol (0:53 AM) :
ill get sb2
penglol (0:53 AM) :
sc2
Pudrick (0:53 AM) :
serverwise
penglol (0:53 AM) :
do they have a release date set yet
Pudrick (0:53 AM) :
are we going to have any issues
penglol (0:53 AM) :
no idea
penglol (0:53 AM) :
i used to play us west/east
Pudrick (0:54 AM) :
with your outback ass
penglol (0:54 AM) :
since there was never an australasia one
Pudrick (0:54 AM) :
seriously bro just move to the US already
penglol (0:54 AM) :
would be cheaper than living here rofl
Pudrick (0:55 AM) :
before your continent sucks itself into the sun
penglol (0:55 AM) :
housing prices are so infalted
Pudrick (0:55 AM) :
move to texas
Pudrick (0:55 AM) :
it would be similar to what your used to
Pudrick (0:55 AM) :
and affordable
Pudrick (0:55 AM) :
more reggins probably
Pudrick (0:55 AM) :
but they arent so bad
penglol (0:55 AM) :
oh dude get this
penglol (0:55 AM) :
if ur an abo
Pudrick (0:56 AM) :
actually pretty friendly if you pretend you give a shit about their plight
penglol (0:56 AM) :
ur entitled to double pay
Pudrick (0:56 AM) :
whats an abo
Pudrick (0:56 AM) :
oh
penglol (0:56 AM) :
australian reggin
Pudrick (0:56 AM) :
aboriginal
Pudrick (0:56 AM) :
anyhow go on
Pudrick (0:57 AM) :
where are you qualified
Pudrick (0:57 AM) :
for double pay
penglol (0:57 AM) :
nowhere
penglol (0:57 AM) :
you have to be a tribal for that
Pudrick (0:58 AM) :
why arent you tribal
penglol (0:58 AM) :
i fail at being a reggin
Pudrick (0:58 AM) :
are you telling me their are other australlians better at being australlian
penglol (0:58 AM) :
yes
Pudrick (0:58 AM) :
holy god
Pudrick (0:58 AM) :
who did you piss off
Pudrick (0:58 AM) :
in the nether realm
Pudrick (0:59 AM) :
you must like have been angry with yourself before birth
penglol (0:59 AM) :
lol
Pudrick (0:59 AM) :
and told god to give you challenging life
penglol (1:00 AM) :
i angered all twelve olympians
Pudrick (1:00 AM) :
like seriously zeus said dalm are you sure u want to take gateway pillar seventeen and you said zeuz your mother was a goatfag
penglol (1:00 AM) :
and i called venus fat
Pudrick (1:01 AM) :
then all off a sudden you were born and zeus spit on your mothers womb with acid zeus
penglol (1:01 AM) :
hes a jerk
Pudrick (1:01 AM) :
seriously not even an aborginal and i just learned that term
Pudrick (1:01 AM) :
my god i dont condone suicide but
Pudrick (1:02 AM) :
you are drinking heavily correct

I talked to KaLiBaH on aol instant messenger the other day. Turns out he isn’t dead. I learned a number of things during our conversation, oh oh oho. oh the things… anyhow unlike other pudnation members, he in fact did not overdose on a drug and is alive and well. Doing lively things, with life and such.


I have compiled a list of 10 things you should know before u die:


10 THINGS U SHOULD KNOW BEFORE YOU DIE


1.) When you drive past a stalled car on the freeway, don’t slow down to look at it, just keep driving. Instead, when you get home. Kill yourself. Since your life obviously revolves around freeway activity, or lack there of.

2.) If you ever hear someone say “I have no regrets, live without regrets bro.” Kill that person and bury their corpse in an unregrettable location

3.) Be wary of people who spend a lot of time jogging. What are they running from eh, ever think of that.

4.) Smoke cigarettes until you are 30. Then quit. And laugh at people who get lung cancer.

When I get bored I like to dig through the mountain of data bytes stored in the vast awesomeness of my collective hard drives and reflect on just how awesome I have been in the past. When I run a virus scan it sometimes detects all the cool shit I have accumulated over the years and alerts me there has been a win.exe virus detected because I am just that great. Because I am so awesome I will share some of this with you the reader now.

Heres a .txt log of a chat conversation I had with a russian girl on ICQ one time. The conversation started off playfully and turned into what some might call illegal. The story has an happy ending as I am still alive.

Heres a screenshot of some night elf chicks bowing down to the mastah.

If you play Ultima Online and think you are better than me at pvp you obviously are mistaken and have never seen this screenshot.

Hi can I have your autograph, and one of your socks, and could you maybe spit in my mouth. Thanks.

Lastly I hope you all are happy with yourselves ignoring this site’s fucking awesomeness and spending your time god knows where contributing to god know whats. I bet you all troll TMZ.com don’t you. I hope you get dysentery.

It has been far too long. Years have gone by, nations have risen, and fallen, yet there has been one thing missing…. the hero. The avatar, the chosen one. You, the gamer.

It has been far too long since the last challenges were met, bosses defeated, economies developed, players killed. No MMO on the market is even worthy of calling itself an MMO. Fuck you Blizzard. FUCK YOU. god I am so fucking sick of Blizzard. Talk about shattering someones dreams…. then waking that person up with a baseball bat to the head and a nice hot stream of piss to the face. Blizzard took the idea of roleplaying, and turned it into a mindless grindfest cash cow, not your ordinary pop star cash cow…. no no this bitch shoots out gold plated uranium milk. Superman drinks the stuff three times a day, very rich in nutrients… But I digress.. only to say this.

There is hope. Of course we all know Age of Conan is rapidly approaching a release date. It can’t come any sooner. Tentonhammer has a new preview up showcasing the Ranger class.. awesome… This game really looks promising. Leaps and bounds above the current state of things.

Also it appears there have been updates to Darkfall.. Whaaaaat get the fuck out. Vaporware right? Apparently not. Heres a quote from a recent dev. diary

Community: Beta ETA (we all understand possible setbacks that’s nature of the industry but a 1 month 2 yrs or something would be great)

Tasos Flambouras: Previous estimates on beta were honest educated estimates based on facts at the time. Circumstances have a way of changing, so we don’t want to try to estimate again when so many things are in flux. The only thing certain is that we expect everything to come together one way or another within a few months so that our launch can be within the year. When we decide whether to go with a publisher or to self publish we will announce a beta date.

2008 Launch? Lets see it. This game is the closest thing to UO2 we have yet to see. And it might actually be released… I don’t know about you but my nipples are hard.

Lastly, JacktR stumbled upon Savage 2 today. We downloaded the client and jumped in game and I gotta say, its pretty damn fun. The game client is free to download and offers a demo account of 5 hours. After those 5 hours you can purchase an account serial for 29.99, one time fee, no monthly charge. The game play rivals that of any simplistic battleground you will find in World of Warcraft. Like the first Savage, the game play is a blend of First Person Shooters, Real Time Strategies and a bit of RPG element. Think of it like Warcraft 2, only you take the role of one of the units, and fight it out 1st/3rd person. There are squads, and a commander position. Commanders do the building of structures, research and micro management aspects. No Monthly, instant action…. Fuck I hate blizzard….

I saw the movie Sweeney Todd: Demon Barber of Fleet Street, and I highly recommend it. Its amazing. Almost as good as Rambo. Haha so many dead Koreans in one movie, how did they get away with it. Kidding… great movie.

You have to watch this video.


Scientology is by far the best example of how tragic our conscious mind is. Wanting to know what “it” is. The absolute, need to know, why the fuck we exist problem. Tom Cruise rambling on for 5 minutes about nothing, is just vague enough, it actually stirs interest from my cynical soul. Where do i sign up, because damn, Tom Cruise is the shit.

Found this video whilst trolling the Uogamers forums.

Griefed.

Checks the calendar, yup 2008. Alt tab back over to Ultima Online…. what…. seriously. How is this game still on my hard drive. IPY, Hybrid and now Divinity. Divinity of course being the latest greatest with over 1300 players at peak hours. Which is pretty amazing. As great as it is there are still some things that just don’t feel right. Spell timing and damage, weapon accuracy, spell damage….


Major things:


-Interrupting… Look if spell damage wasn’t so fucking high, it wouldn’t be a problem that players were using Clumsy(Clumsy and the other “debuff” spells currently do not interrupt spell casting if the target is already “debuffed”, which is not OSI accurate), and Magic Arrow to interrupt In Vas Mani and Kal Ort Por spams. What I mean is, an explode ebolt combo should not be doing 80 damage to a player with GM resist, not even on a fluke, okay maybe on a 1/1000 fluke… but not every other dump. If spell damage were reduced, and combos weren’t so devastating, spell interruption could return as a viable and interesting tactic in PVP.
-Recall has always had the longest of cast timers from the Fourth Circle of spells, but because of its nearly instant cast timer on Divinity it is now exploited for immediate combat evasion. I understand there are gank squads of 5-10 players, I understand this can make recalling difficult, but it should be. It shouldn’t be so easy on players. It makes for cheap and irritating battle. An experienced player should see trouble coming and get out before it is too late. That same experienced player should not have to rely on divine intervention(read: server lag) to engage a single fleeing target in combat.
-Weapon accuracy. Not too major, i mean most freshly made GM made weapons seem to miss more than they should but the main concern here is magic weapons. A guy with an exceedingly accurate katana should miss at least once. I am not exaggerating. I watched this guy fight for 2 minutes, he did not miss a single swing. Sorry but that is overpowered. First he was fighting me, then he was on my friend. We both had wrestling so that is not the issue here. Anyhow, overpowered.


Server lag will probably clear up over the next few weeks but it is pretty annoying freezing in battle. It really only seems to happen in player combat, but it has happened and cost me a battle more than once.


But seriously with that out of the way the server is really fun. Great job Ryan/team. I’d love to see spell damage reduced, and see the more strategic duels return. I have been running around pking with Thordice from pkghost.com and his crew. See you on the battlefield.


Thanks for all the feedback on the new movie!


-Pudrick

HOLY FUCKING SHIT A NEW FLASH MOVIE FOR ULTIMA ONLINE LOLOZLODirr.sd… This movie has been on my hard drive for years now. Once every year or so I would add a line of text, or a background and say man making flash movies is gay, I think Id rather spend my time doing anything else than this right now. Anything else being porntubing.com. …But now it is actually done and it feels like Jesus has resurrected some weights off my shoulders and I can go on with my life of masturbating and drinking with the contentment of knowing; man I fucking did it. Stay in school kids, you CAN achieve your dreams.


Note: This movie may not win any academy awards, but it just might steal the nomination for best actor from Jason Statham in War. Hehe, seriously that movie sucked.


On a serious note, let me just say how great of a game Ultima Online really was. If you had the fortune of being a part of that era of gaming you know how amazing and revolutionary it was. Only a game like UO would inspire a person to devote as much time, if any, to a project like this some twelve years later. I know the game, visually, is just prehistoric compared to the surrealistic wonders of todays gaming market. But for me nothing has yet come close to replace the mark left by UO.
Life of a PK II