Honestly why bother; the years of development, the millions of dollars,(thousands of dollars? how much budget are these fucking people given anyway) , the hype. For what? You still couldn’t dethrone the king. No one gives a fuck about the barons and lords and squires, no the fucking man is the King. Why has World of Warcraft just casually brushed aside all competitition? Ill tell you why, fucking you copy paste something too many times and fucking windows explodes. Albeit that is because bill gates is a giant fucking faggot but nevertheless. The clever fucking analogy here is, you have idiot companies spending thousands (millions?) of dollars to copy what world of warcraft has already done. GEE FUCKING WHIZ I WONDER WHY YOUR GAME IS SHIT YOU UNCREATIVE FUCKING USELESS FUCK. Seriously though I have fucking had it with gaming. Back in the golden era of gaming there was small companies making quality original content. I specifically remember a time when “Graphics vs. Gameplay” was a common argument sprouting around the time the Sony Playstation was released. Since the release of that shitty terrible ass system, all these newgen wannabe myspace gamer scrubs have been soaking the video game economy with their Blockbuster paychecks on rehashed textures, recycled engines, NOW WITH PER PLAXEL DIP SHADING, fodder games. Grand Theft Auto 4 , now with direct3d 10.0z85*, *less features. How do you release the sucsessor to your most popular game, and fucking remove features to add more bump shizzing. Cinematic Experience. Dont get me fucking started on that Hideo Kojima piece of shit and his abortion game series i wont waste my energy typing the name of.
In spite of MMO gaming being god awful aids, FPS gaming remains solid. Counterstrike should get a pulitzter prize or a nobel peace prize because it is so l33t. Its funny too because all of these fucking morons ranting and raving about Call of Duty 4 dont even realize they copy pasted counterstrike to make that game, which is why Counterstrike remains king.
What it do. The names paul wall the peoples champ. Check out mah grille. Bleh.
Go choke on it.
So I’ve been following this new so called top of the line wannabethenextuo game comming out called Dark Fall. I’m sure a bunch of you cocksuckers have been following it as well, if not please take an overdose of sleeping pills and I’ll see you tomorrow. So what do we have to look forward to? Who knows. I was speaking with Pud the other day via icq/aim and we discussed this so called game comming out and the first thing that comes to mind is, “Is this really what today’s generation is looking for?” Who knows, but I know the first thing I’m looking for is pussy and weed second. Get your priorities straight.
If this game is anything like WoW I’m going to flip. Or I’ll just run the streets like my homeboy below.
So I got to try the Warhammer beta this past week and the game, for what it is, is actually really entertaining. I mean they basically ripped off WOW in every aspect and just made it bigger, faster, stronger and better. More shiny and easier to jump into pvp at an early level. The thing that sold me is that the max level is 40, and you can get to the end doing zero PVE. Yeap doing nothing but PVP (world or battlegrounds) actually gives you more experience than doing PVE shit.
The first day I tried to login I was given this funny message:
PLEASE TRY LA, HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS LA. BUT OKAY GAME I WILL KEEP TRYING. I WILL TRY WITH ALL MY MIGHT TO PLAY YOUR GAME.
Preordered the game last night, not sure what server I’ll end up on but if anyone out there is planning on playing lets coordinate a server to get on and own some fags like this was 1997. Bright Mage’s are pretty own.
if you are like me (you aren’t) you probably are wondering why everything is so pointless lately. I am convinced the internet died back in 2003 and was sent to hell for obvious reasons and is now suffering eternal punishment in an oblivious state of mediocrity. I mean back in 1996, the internet was like the roped off section of some downtown hollywood club i have never been in. However I have been in the internet in 1996 and let me tell you it was way better than any transvestite fag sucking roped off vip club in shithole hollywood. Point is this, people don’t actually like other people. People only go out to socialize to fill some empty hole of needs and wants driven by selfish egotistical yadda yadda. So honestly now that the internet is fucking crammed with the people I spent the majority of my life avoiding, is fucking depressing.
It isn’t just the myspace and youtube pandemic that upsets me, its all the useless fucking clutter that gets in the way of me, and my fucking soapbox.
In a world of limitless information and instant access to any educational source via google.com, why do i feel dumber than ever.
Possibly because I haven’t achieved the level of zen this woman has:
Andre Nickatina kiiiiiiid. Had I never left the bay area im pretty sure i would have sold cocaine with this nigga right here -
throw some coke on the dash roll a dollar do a line.
Am i the only gamer who realizes the Metal Gear series stopped being good 3 games ago? Hideo Kojima is a hack and anyone who thinks he has “vision” or “talent” or “decent gameplay mechanic creating ability” <–(that is a fucking quote, google it) should think themselves into a knotted rope off the 2nd story of their second mortgaged suburbian meth lab.
If I were Hideo Kojima I would have retired from the video game industry 6 years ago and applied for a job in hollywood to direct B list pulling action movies. One time I sat down to play Metal Gear solid 3 and fell asleep 3 hours into the introduction credits. Im sorry is this a video game or a waste of my time because fuck you and your pretentious view on espionage tactical warfare when does this start getting good gameplay. Go fucking step on a landmine Kojima, but make sure your children walk in front of you because i swear to god if i have to hear one more moron rave about Metal Gear Solid I might just lose my mind and google “Hideo Kojima sucks” or “Hideo Kojima= hack” or “Fuck Hideo Kojima” only to find not one single result because every brainless worthless god forsaken moron on this wretched planet believes you make actual games.
penglol (0:46 AM) :
man all the new releases this year blow penglol (0:46 AM) :
age of conan shitty
world of warhammer shitty
stargate lol Pudrick (0:47 AM) :
darkfall penglol (0:47 AM) :
i said releases Pudrick (0:47 AM) :
itll happen penglol (0:47 AM) :
right after UOX Pudrick (0:48 AM) :
activate your wow account with your x money penglol (0:48 AM) :
never~ penglol (0:48 AM) :
piece of shit game Pudrick (0:51 AM) :
what else do u have goin on penglol (0:51 AM) :
SB! penglol (0:51 AM) :
rerolled on the backup server cause gooks won the one i was on Pudrick (0:52 AM) :
reroll youtself over a center divider penglol (0:52 AM) :
no u penglol (0:52 AM) :
at 5am in china they show up with 180 people Pudrick (0:52 AM) :
like 1/4billion~pi the actual population penglol (0:53 AM) :
its ridiculous penglol (0:53 AM) :
u cant stop their swarm Pudrick (0:53 AM) :
hey when sc2 comes out are you going to be able to play with us penglol (0:53 AM) :
ill get sb2 penglol (0:53 AM) :
sc2 Pudrick (0:53 AM) :
serverwise penglol (0:53 AM) :
do they have a release date set yet Pudrick (0:53 AM) :
are we going to have any issues penglol (0:53 AM) :
no idea penglol (0:53 AM) :
i used to play us west/east Pudrick (0:54 AM) :
with your outback ass penglol (0:54 AM) :
since there was never an australasia one Pudrick (0:54 AM) :
seriously bro just move to the US already penglol (0:54 AM) :
would be cheaper than living here rofl Pudrick (0:55 AM) :
before your continent sucks itself into the sun penglol (0:55 AM) :
housing prices are so infalted Pudrick (0:55 AM) :
move to texas Pudrick (0:55 AM) :
it would be similar to what your used to Pudrick (0:55 AM) :
and affordable Pudrick (0:55 AM) :
more reggins probably Pudrick (0:55 AM) :
but they arent so bad penglol (0:55 AM) :
oh dude get this penglol (0:55 AM) :
if ur an abo Pudrick (0:56 AM) :
actually pretty friendly if you pretend you give a shit about their plight penglol (0:56 AM) :
ur entitled to double pay Pudrick (0:56 AM) :
whats an abo Pudrick (0:56 AM) :
oh penglol (0:56 AM) :
australian reggin Pudrick (0:56 AM) :
aboriginal Pudrick (0:56 AM) :
anyhow go on Pudrick (0:57 AM) :
where are you qualified Pudrick (0:57 AM) :
for double pay penglol (0:57 AM) :
nowhere penglol (0:57 AM) :
you have to be a tribal for that Pudrick (0:58 AM) :
why arent you tribal penglol (0:58 AM) :
i fail at being a reggin Pudrick (0:58 AM) :
are you telling me their are other australlians better at being australlian penglol (0:58 AM) :
yes Pudrick (0:58 AM) :
holy god Pudrick (0:58 AM) :
who did you piss off Pudrick (0:58 AM) :
in the nether realm Pudrick (0:59 AM) :
you must like have been angry with yourself before birth penglol (0:59 AM) :
lol Pudrick (0:59 AM) :
and told god to give you challenging life penglol (1:00 AM) :
i angered all twelve olympians Pudrick (1:00 AM) :
like seriously zeus said dalm are you sure u want to take gateway pillar seventeen and you said zeuz your mother was a goatfag penglol (1:00 AM) :
and i called venus fat Pudrick (1:01 AM) :
then all off a sudden you were born and zeus spit on your mothers womb with acid zeus penglol (1:01 AM) :
hes a jerk Pudrick (1:01 AM) :
seriously not even an aborginal and i just learned that term Pudrick (1:01 AM) :
my god i dont condone suicide but Pudrick (1:02 AM) :
you are drinking heavily correct
I talked to KaLiBaH on aol instant messenger the other day. Turns out he isn’t dead. I learned a number of things during our conversation, oh oh oho. oh the things… anyhow unlike other pudnation members, he in fact did not overdose on a drug and is alive and well. Doing lively things, with life and such.
I have compiled a list of 10 things you should know before u die:
10 THINGS U SHOULD KNOW BEFORE YOU DIE
1.) When you drive past a stalled car on the freeway, don’t slow down to look at it, just keep driving. Instead, when you get home. Kill yourself. Since your life obviously revolves around freeway activity, or lack there of.
2.) If you ever hear someone say “I have no regrets, live without regrets bro.” Kill that person and bury their corpse in an unregrettable location
3.) Be wary of people who spend a lot of time jogging. What are they running from eh, ever think of that.
4.) Smoke cigarettes until you are 30. Then quit. And laugh at people who get lung cancer.
We can’t monetize this! But really what can you monetize on the internet but $5500 an hour hookers
Anyway the point of this post isn’t about the layout, it’s about the greatest singer in the world. Here’s a song that she’s dedicated to me:
When I get bored I like to dig through the mountain of data bytes stored in the vast awesomeness of my collective hard drives and reflect on just how awesome I have been in the past. When I run a virus scan it sometimes detects all the cool shit I have accumulated over the years and alerts me there has been a win.exe virus detected because I am just that great. Because I am so awesome I will share some of this with you the reader now.
Heres a .txt log of a chat conversation I had with a russian girl on ICQ one time. The conversation started off playfully and turned into what some might call illegal. The story has an happy ending as I am still alive.
Heres a screenshot of some night elf chicks bowing down to the mastah.
If you play Ultima Online and think you are better than me at pvp you obviously are mistaken and have never seen this screenshot.
Lastly I hope you all are happy with yourselves ignoring this site’s fucking awesomeness and spending your time god knows where contributing to god know whats. I bet you all troll TMZ.com don’t you. I hope you get dysentery.
Honestly, there’s so much hype around the NIU shooting that it’s pretty fucking disturbing. Another crack in the pristine finish of the youth culture and people are as always quick to point the proverbial gun at the wrong person. In this case we see the government and of course Jack “can’t stop fappin to my next case” Thompson on the warpath blaming some mediocre playtime of CS in the kids life for the killings that took place.
Seriously now, is this what we have left? A kid is unstable and blasts other students and we don’t wonder what actually happened? We just pick a cheap scapegoat that has been beaten to death and ride it like no tomorrow, that instead of figuring out what was going on around them we get idiots going “dude he played 1.6 4 years ago, thats totally why he killed them, gg lets ban violent games recommended for older audiences” Sadly the flawed mentality forgets to include, the following.
1. There’s no fucking buy zone IRL, you don’t wake up, walk into your closet, hit B and then speed key your inventory for the day together.
2. Source is an awful fucking example to use for violence or “training” anyone who has played it knows the lag and hitboxes are awful and that any idiot using it as a base wouldn’t kill someone with a .45, they’d try to hunt down an AWP.
3. If CS was so fucking influencing on the world, we’d see a whole lot more team flash IRL, something that is severely lacking at the moment.
Honestly, the government and the media need to go fuck off with this stupidity, anyone worth their asdw would be able to tell people that FPS titles aren’t murder sims, and anyone that uses them as some springboard has serious mental problems already that existed before playing.
So to all those fucks harping on gaming being the cause of the shootings, go play a fucking title as a non-biased individual and then judge if you could actually bunny hop/knife run/shift run your way to a massive incident.
That sounds so friggin exciting I’m in stitches, by friggin exciting I mean it sounds like it plays with my balls on a Saturday night when I’m a bit sleepy and playing TF2 trying to fend off the demons.
Some company has decided to release a terminal program allowing gamers to run their games on their PC then via router they can stream the content to their PS3 running Linux on it so that instead of just running a big-ass cable or moving their system to the TV, they can blow $400 on a PS3 to do it.
When I saw this I originally was stupid enough to be hopeful that the RSX and Cell would do some work, alas, they do nothing, they don’t just do nothing, they do nothing and they eat all the food in your fridge and crap themselves on your couch while your PC works like a slave in the cotton fields.
So PS3 owners have yet another thing to be sad about, companies happily teasing console owners with the hope of playing some awesome PC games when the result is actually very shit indeed.
Scientology is by far the best example of how tragic our conscious mind is. Wanting to know what “it” is. The absolute, need to know, why the fuck we exist problem. Tom Cruise rambling on for 5 minutes about nothing, is just vague enough, it actually stirs interest from my cynical soul. Where do i sign up, because damn, Tom Cruise is the shit.
Checks the calendar, yup 2008. Alt tab back over to Ultima Online…. what…. seriously. How is this game still on my hard drive. IPY, Hybrid and now Divinity. Divinity of course being the latest greatest with over 1300 players at peak hours. Which is pretty amazing. As great as it is there are still some things that just don’t feel right. Spell timing and damage, weapon accuracy, spell damage….
Major things:
-Interrupting… Look if spell damage wasn’t so fucking high, it wouldn’t be a problem that players were using Clumsy(Clumsy and the other “debuff” spells currently do not interrupt spell casting if the target is already “debuffed”, which is not OSI accurate), and Magic Arrow to interrupt In Vas Mani and Kal Ort Por spams. What I mean is, an explode ebolt combo should not be doing 80 damage to a player with GM resist, not even on a fluke, okay maybe on a 1/1000 fluke… but not every other dump. If spell damage were reduced, and combos weren’t so devastating, spell interruption could return as a viable and interesting tactic in PVP.
-Recall has always had the longest of cast timers from the Fourth Circle of spells, but because of its nearly instant cast timer on Divinity it is now exploited for immediate combat evasion. I understand there are gank squads of 5-10 players, I understand this can make recalling difficult, but it should be. It shouldn’t be so easy on players. It makes for cheap and irritating battle. An experienced player should see trouble coming and get out before it is too late. That same experienced player should not have to rely on divine intervention(read: server lag) to engage a single fleeing target in combat.
-Weapon accuracy. Not too major, i mean most freshly made GM made weapons seem to miss more than they should but the main concern here is magic weapons. A guy with an exceedingly accurate katana should miss at least once. I am not exaggerating. I watched this guy fight for 2 minutes, he did not miss a single swing. Sorry but that is overpowered. First he was fighting me, then he was on my friend. We both had wrestling so that is not the issue here. Anyhow, overpowered.
Server lag will probably clear up over the next few weeks but it is pretty annoying freezing in battle. It really only seems to happen in player combat, but it has happened and cost me a battle more than once.
But seriously with that out of the way the server is really fun. Great job Ryan/team. I’d love to see spell damage reduced, and see the more strategic duels return. I have been running around pking with Thordice from pkghost.com and his crew. See you on the battlefield.
Sucking balls, the game sucks absolute fucking balls. Read on though
From Wikipedia
“Kane & Lynch: Dead Men is a game developed by IO Interactive for the Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and Windows. It is described as “a cooperative action game depicting a violent and chaotic journey of two men — a flawed mercenary and a medicated psychopath — and their brutal attitude towards right and wrong. Now, they must partner up as a mess of cash makes for hell on Earth.” It has been confirmed that Lionsgate has bought the rights for the movie adaptation.[1]“
First off, Lionsgate is fucking stupid, stop buying into video game franchises when you can simply appropriate the idea behind it and improve on the fundamental flaws in cheap 3rd person games on the console and PC.
Next up is the issue of Kane & Lynch, here comes the picky bitch aspect of things. We have been playing co-op gaming on the PC in 1st and 3rd person for quite some time, as such Kane & Lynch have to essentially cross the great wall without the help of David Copperfield, given that GoW has accomplished this well in the recent year and Army of Two looks to do the same, Kane & Lynch has stiff competition given a shallow plot and a boatload of advertising money to help pave the way to stardom.
Kane is a member of of an elite underground group performing merc hits around the world (yawn) upon his last job the mission goes to hell and his team dies, he goes on the run and gets captured. Lynch is a schizo pill popping murderer, already it sounds like a match made in heaven. During gameplay Kane is the lead character (Player 1) and the AI or (Player 2) ends up being Lynch, from there it’s typical squad based fighting, by this I mean letes find an existing model of calling the AI or other player to make military style attack patterns to accomplish a goal. Of course lets take this to an urban setting and make common firearms the standard methods of attack, nothing like seeing shotguns, rifles and SMG’s for the 9000th time.
The attack methods are nothing new, jumping behind walls, peaking around, blind firing and pretty much everything else we’re already used to. It’s great that Eidos was paying attention to routes for success in gaming over the past years, Kane & Lynch in the action department wraps up as a continued entertainment to those who loved GoW but got tired, those who enjoyed KillSwitch but wanted to go Next-Gen, those who played Hitman but wanted more or pretty much anything else.
Online play is brain numbing at times, given that in most online games you get some variety, in this title you don’t get that luxury unless you bust your balls until you reach number 1 or 2 in which case you get the piss poor reward of being Kane or Lynch depending on your rating. Otherwise you get stuck as henchman #1-9999999999999 for your gameplay, unless you die in which case during the round you end up as a cop chasing your killer / former allies.
The story itself is amazingly complex, the guys you thought died in your last job aren’t dead, they sprung you from your deathrow bus and assigned a pill popping fucktard as your watchdog, the point of all this? Because even though it looks like they died, they didn’t and now they want their money that got taken from the job. The bonus to Lynch for all this? He gets Kane’s spot in the 7. The rest of the story is simple, Kane goes in to get the cases and make it right, of course in this case one of the cases is gone and by the time you go to tell Lynch, he killed everybody. So it’s a case of stupidity and a pre-determined set of problems from the get go as you try to make things right. On top of this the game goes ahead to introduce strange crime bosses and other figures with few if any actual associations to the story, suddenly a past you didn’t even know about takes you on a wild goose chase to find the case only to end up getting Kane, his family and Lynch burned. What ensues after that is the typical revenge route to make The7 pay for the almost typical betrayal route.
For me the game was average at best, on top of that the aiming system was poor and the actual enjoyability was lacking.
Given that my options are COD4, UT3, Crysis, GoW (PC), TF2 and more, I’d rather play any of those, hell I’d rather play Clive Barkers Jericho and play through endless repeats of the same basic atmospheres with a retarded squad simply because watching them squirm and suffer on the ground would be more rewarding than this garbage.
Kane & Lynch: Dead Men makes my controller hurt because of how bad the game sucks. Eidos, stick to making Deus Ex 3 good, stop churning out shit games.
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